April 08, 2019 08:59

Hello, my name is Aireentea. I study at the best university in Japan, as a student doctor of the second year. I came from one of the country in Southeast Asia. Actually at the same time before I went to this university, I also received two letter of acceptances from other universities with the funding are coming from my own country scholarship. I choose this university because my senior collage also graduated from this university. I received scholarships from the Japanese government, and having two supervisors (SPV) that is a man and a woman. I am the only student in this laboratory. There had been a student master women. She is Japanese, but she is graduated so fast. So now, stay I and two supervisor in this little laboratory. I often communicate with woman SPV because every day she is inside the lab and the English better than man SPV. I do the experiment in the field of is new to me, which is about biochemistry and molecular biology of the plant. I have not tried before. I have only class about the field in 1 chapters even in the undergraduate program. Such as student foreign, I think just found all that in Japan. I think could more learn by my self, but sometimes I feel need friends in the lab to ask or having a conversation. In my country it is usual, but don't know in here. Woman SPV said that as a doctoral student, I have to do anything own like study theory, do experiment or anything. My woman SPV so well that I don't need to ask at the other. The first year I live in Japan, I am getting a lot help. My relationship with my supervisors very good, especially with woman SPV. But now, I have gotten a lot wrong and make them disappointed. It started when in the experiments I didn't success to get the good result. Every failed, i don't know what the cause. I didn't be able to continue experiment. Women SPV always said that I have to know the cause and improve on next experiment. But I really don't know the mistakes, so I couldn't continue the experiment. I want to do experiments to learn several times, but is not allowed. I do nothing, and time wasted. The deadline of my scholarship is 3 yeras, but now I don't have any data. I am so stress. I tries to make new research plan, but she always think that my plan was poor. I have also been asked to study hard and serious because I have very little knowledge about this field. I have been study harder even made a group of study with friend from my country. I only understand basic things, not into deeply. It is difficult to keep all in my brain. She said that I very poor, and my ability low so I hard to get a doctoral degree. In winter vacation there was fatal mistakes, I have been guide a group of people to take a trip to another city. But then, I lost my wallet and smartphone. I try to find it so I was very late to the lab and didn't contcat them. I left my sample contaminated. My SPVs were very angry and I have to stop the experiment. Almost 1 month, I just be quiet in the library because she said that the lab not a place for study. I am so stress, coludn't find to fix it all. I tried to recreate new research plan, and send them by email. Almost one week I didn't receive the reply, and couldn't anything. I am afraid cannot continue my study and have to return my scholarship. It made me feel regret, maybe it is better for me to take the scholarship from my own country. I made them, all of the people know me disappointed. There are no communication withy my SPVs until now. I really want to change my SPVs, but it is impossible. I don’t have a courage to meet them, and to talk to them because I still don’t have much knowledge to do the research. I am afraid she will ask me again how you could do this, can you change your mind, and told that I am very lazy, don’t want to study or do the experiment. It is not true, cause to get my doctoral degree I left my husband and two little boys in my country. Sometimes I worry about my husband, and my childrens. I miss them so much. I really need to solve my problem fast, can you find the solution of my problems? Please. Thank you very much.

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